Little did I know how to face myself when I feel I am in the middle of no where. Life is suck every time I make mistake and don’t know how to correct it. And it is even worst when I was blame for not making any fault. How can this young girl expect to know what you didn’t tell her?
“You are smart and you must be strong, you are an elder child and you have to be in part of settle things up”, my mom keeps saying these words to me for almost 20years. These words did not make me better but it become a pressure to me. It seems like I cannot do any mistakes. Did she ever care I am just a kid and I need time, chance and care rather than blame to correct me? Maybe because of her influence makes me sometime feel I’m so strong but in fact I’m just a weak girl who afraid to face everything. I was raised in a cold family, everyone likes to shout and always acting cruel whenever quarrel start. My parent is always on and off. They may talk to each other 2 or 3 days a week have fight 3 or 4 days a week. Every happy time happen, my only wish was to make the time stood still. Is it too imaginary? Until now I keep thinking of it.
Trusty! I hope I learn to trust people more than this. When I was a kid, I trust and always am positive to everyone around me. But time changes! Friend, family and even myself make me feel nobody can be trusted on earth. Everyone is just selfish and do everything for themselves. It seems like my own story through the song Because of You by Kelly Clarkson. [Because of you, I learn to play on the safe side so I won’t get hurt. Because of you, I learn it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me; because of you I am afraid.] Well, I don’t know who should be blame, or should I put the blame on Akon? (just kidding) Well, if to be blame maybe I have to blame myself first. It’s true that no one can cheat you unless you are that stupid.
Well, life is complicated and struggle! Sometimes you don’t have to care whether other cry or laugh for you. There must be a loser if you want to be a winner. Still, always who you are because you don’t need to care what other feel for you but you gotta care what you feel for yourself. Try to polish yourself just as a gem because at first it was just a stone.
